“We live in time, it bounds us and defines us, and time is supposed to measure history, isn’t it? But if we can’t understand time, can’t grasp its mysteries or pace and progress, what chance do we have with history- even our own small, personal, largely undocumented piece of it?” (Meagan Adler)

After tonight’s reading, I was particularly intrigued by the way in which Tony recalls Robson’s suicide as a “squalidly mediocre action” (pg.50) and furthermore connects it to Adrian’s unexpected suicide that was taken because he saw “that life is a gift bestowed without anyone asking for it; that the thinking person has a philosophical duty to examine both the nature of life and the conditions it comes with; and that if this person decides to renounce the gift no one asks for, it is a moral and human duty to act on the consequences of that decision” (pg.50).  A particularly intriguing part of tonight’s reading was that in which Tony says, “The law, and society, and religion all said it was impossible to be sane, healthy, and kill yourself” and analytically questions, “perhaps those authorities feared that suicide’s reasoning might impugn the nature and value of life as organized by the state which paid the coroner?” (pg.54); here, the narrator reflects upon the terrifying idea of suicide and how it can potentially invalidate all the laws and boundaries we have manufactured.  Suicide is not socially accepted because these laws value the gift of life and revolve around the idea that life has a purpose.  When one commits suicide, one threatens this socially accepted law.  I also find the idea of the malleability of time intriguing, for the narrator continuously refers to it throughout the novel at parts such as that when he expresses, “We live in time, it bounds us and defines us, and time is supposed to measure history, isn’t it? But if we can’t understand time, can’t grasp its mysteries or pace and progress, what chance do we have with history- even our own small, personal, largely undocumented piece of it?” (pg.66);  here, we see that perspective defines time, for at some moments in our lives we feel that “time goes faster” (pg.60) for us.  Furthermore, the terrifying idea that something objective and definite is incomprehensible and indefinite breaks down the walls that we need in order to feel safe and makes us face the terrifying idea that there is no true meaning in an infinite universe where we are ultimately insignificant.  I am curious to see what happens with Adrian’s diary that Veronica’s mom leaves to Tony when she dies and feel like it will unravel a truth that Veronica is terrified of letting out.